Tired

I am tired.
The lamp’s in ashes,
The flame burnt too long.

I am tired
Of chasing you out
Of my fickle mind.

I am tired
Of the new beginnings
That never last.

I am tired
Of my automated doors
That open at your sight.

I am tired
Of seeing past you
And faking laughter.

I am tired
Of these hollow words
I cannot stop writing

That scream out loud,
That I am tired
Of me; but never you…

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Why you…

Why you?
Of all the people?
I ask myself.

If I was to choose
Anyone
Out of everyone

To have myself
Tormented
And run down

Why not
Someone who
Wants me back?

Why not
Someone who
Makes me smile?

If I was to choose
Someone
Who doesn’t care

Someone
Too wrapped up
In his own world

Why not
The Duke of Cambridge
Or DiCaprio?

Why you?
Why not Superman
or Loki!

Just Another Person…

Become just another person to me.

A stranger I could pass
Down the streets
And never think of again;

A colleague I could talk to
At meetings and parties
But never let live in my head;

A classmate IĀ could laugh with
At lectures and breaks
Whose absence doesn’t maim;

A friend I could share with
Everything that’s mine
And never pray for more.

Just become another person
Who matters less than
Everything to me.

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Inertia

I strangled her by the neck.
She struggled
And shrieked.
But I kept squashing her
Breath away.
I locked it in a chest of diffidence
And threw her away
In to the depths of my conscience.

I heard her muffled breaths.
I heard her fists on the lid.
But I did nothing.
I could have grasped her hand.
I could have pulled her up.
But I did nothing.

I let her sapling wings
To dry out on a desert,
When with a drop of water
Her boughs
Could’ve reached the skies.

Now she lies dying
In the deathbed of my life,
Begging me
For a single breath;
A breath of hope or try.
A breath of miracle.

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I look down to her,
Her body ashened,
Her eyes grey,
And I struggle.

I struggle to lay before her,
That there were no more
Miracles to come.
That I’ve gambled them all
For none.

That the more she struggles
To survive a day
The more agonised
Our each breath would be,
And the more of me
She’d take away.

She defined me once.
But I’ve crippled her now,
She’ll sink, defunct,
In to a dark corner
Of my deformed heart.

All she’ll ever be
Is a dream
That I wrecked
With my inertia.