Paper Past…

Stacks of paper,

Chits, notes and entries from the past;

Pictures and letters,

Holograms of places filled with faces cast;

Wings of nostalgia,

Forming curves on the lips, embrace the heart;

Hidden among the piles;

Maybe I’ll find, my lost pieces at last….

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The magnet that is you,

Hauls off me,

Metallic peels,

Until there’s nothing of me

Left for me;

Waging war,

Against myself,

I battle,

To keep my pieces intact,

But they fight me,

And soar to you,

To be an inconvenience,

At your feet.



The embrace that held,

All my pieces intact;

The hand that clasped,

My fingers, compact;

My ground that never swayed,

While I swirled, abstract,

You were my home;


A cast away now,

I wander,


A vagabond,

Who lays her head down,

As shelter comes her way,

Closes her eyes,

Into a restless drowse;

Be on her way,

Before the dawn breaks,

No matter how,

The blisters

In her soles, bled.


You left me with a ghost,
To keep me warm, in the darkest nights.
And the blistering days.

To haunt my mind,
With memories of once upon a time,
To sink into my depths,
And pull out emotions,
That I bury with concrete,
Each and everyday.
To be there with me,
Whether I limp or float.
To be my measuring scale;
The voice in my head.

Every passing minute,
I concoct a new plot to kill it.

Thicker the prison I make for it,
The grandest break out it makes.
I cut it down,
And it grows three more heads.
I strangle it,
And it slips right through my hands.
I cannot burn it down,
Without burning me along.
I cannot bury it in,
Without burying me along.

You left me with your ghost,
And somehow, you still survive,
Behind your callous mask.

You are the song that rings
Through the silence,
You are the air that floats around me.
I lay my head down,
Close my eyes,
And take in a soft, deep breath.

But you fill into my lungs,
Flow through my veins,
And burn my flesh,
My blood, my bones,
All at once,
While your words fill my ears,
Travel to my head,
And draw pictures of you,
All over my soul.

I scream at the top of my lungs;
Hoping that somehow
It’d put out the fire,
And shut you away,
Until I taste blood in my throat,
Until my voice is long dead,
Until I collapse with silent sobs,
And lay waiting,
For the darkness to take over me.


The enthralling darkness,
The music of the silence,
Of the nihilistic nights,
Gave me wings
To fly beyond the walls
Of impossibilities,
To dream
With the spirit of a lark,
With hope,
Like that clenched in a newborn’s fists.

The darkness hauls me,
Into the depths of morbidity.
Blinds me
With no sense of direction.
The silence of the night deafens me.
Plays your voice in my head,
Like that of a thousand crickets
Until the night breaks.
It’s a limbo I cannot break free from
Where there’s no one but me.

I tried to fight the darkness,
But it only thickens as I cut through.
Sucking me in.
I screamed at the top of my lungs,
But it only bled my ears,
Your voice never quivered.

I lay down every night,
And pray for the walls to crumble
And the tiresome world to reveal.
Where the noises are too loud,
For me to hear you.
Through the hustle of the people,
Who drag my body along
With the hands of time…